I'm damaged

I had one comment on my last blog but I got a few by email. I don't intend to argue the point because what I write is my opinion and what you write is your opinion but I thank those who took the time make a comment.

I do read the comments and sometimes I read things which make me re look at what I have written.

But, so far, nothing has made me change my views

My week!

I don't know if you will be interested in this next bit but last week I think it was Tuesday or maybe Wednesday, I felt a twinge (interesting word "Twinge" I wonder where it came from and even more intriguing is where is it going to go?)

Anyway I was out the front of my unit watering the new trees that my landlord had planted for me (I told him that I would water them) when I felt that terrible "twinge" down the right side of my back.

Well I won't say that I wasn't a little concerned because I was. And by Friday I'd decided that I needed to see a Dr. Well I couldn't see any around my area so I grabbed my hat and decided to walk to my Dr. in Salisbury, after all it's only one bus stop to Salisbury. By the time I got there I could hardly walk and the spasms in my back were really strong and frequent. Some one said to me later that that's what labour is like and I wondered why a political party would have spasms in the back. I'll have to think about that later.

The Dr.sent me to have my back xrayed at Bensons (No not the cigarette company) Come on people concentrate, focus ok?

I was led into a little cubicle where I was told to take off all my clothes but I could leave my underwear on. Have you noticed that one always has to take ones clothes off no matter what one is having x rayed? I wonder if Michalangelo told his clients to take all their clothes off because he couldn't see what he was painting? Mmm that's not a bad line is it? Anyway they had those white gowns that only a contortionist is able to tie up provided they don't have spasms in the lower back. There was a sign in the cubical which, by the way, had suddenly got a lot smaller, and the sign said remove all jewelry, watches, keys etc.. Well now I got my jewelery off but then I reread the notice and it said DO NOT leave valuables in the cubicle. So leaving them in my trouser pocket meant carrying my trousers with me. So I thought Ok, do not leave the valuables in the cubical, where then was I to leave the valuables? l asked the x-ray operator she said you need to bring them with you . How? How does one, with a back going into never ending spasms, try to hold jewelery, a watch and various coins and paper money and walk into a room in front of a girl who is younger than my daughter and try to look dignified. How does one hold the gaping back of the "gown" together while using both hands to hold all your worldly goods. Those gowns are designed to fall open while one is holding them together with two hands. Or whenever one is bending over or in some other position which one doesn't want to be seen in. Well I got into the x ray room. Dumped all my valuable on to the x ray table, removed my glasses and put them with my valuables on the end of the x ray table right where my feet could kick them into kingdom come when another spasm caused my body to straighten out. You see they tell you not to leave them but they don't give you anywhere to put them when you are laying almost naked on a cold stainless steel table. Why can't they have a table in the room where all our worldly goods can be placed.

I now know what it's like to be a corpse just before the Goroner starts his/her work. The x ray table is just a cold stainless steel slab with little grooves on it, I think the grooves are where the body fluids drain away when the Coroner is doing his / her Coroner work thingy.

Then the torture starts. Why is it that the part that hurts the most or the position which is most likely to start another spasm, is the position they want you to hold the most? And why is it that the only film that they can't get a good picture of is the position which causes the most discomfort?

The x ray operator was very understanding she got all the pictures she needed and then she told me that I could get dressed. Well I didn't think about that did I? I'm in a very tiny box about 1 foot by 1 foot and about 5 foot high, I'm not exaggerating. It had shrunk since I was in there last. that was about 15 minutes before. I had my valuables with me and I found that I was unable to manouver my body without a spasm taking me by surprise and straightening me out thus jamming me in to a corner. Eventually I was able to get dressed.

Then I realized I still had my shoes to put on.

I'm going to make a bold statement at this point I don't believe that it is possible to put on a firmly fitting shoe with one hand while your back is constantly trying to straighten your body out. I say again "It's impossible".

Every time I had the shoe in the right position, my body flipped it off my foot and dumped it into an inaccessible space in the 1 foot square room.

But all good thing need to come to an end and I eventually got my shoes on. But the powers that rule the X-ray cubicles had not finished with me yet. You see I couldn't do up my laces on my snuggly fitting sneakers so, I had to swallow what little pride I had left at that time and I had to call on the nice lady who was younger than my daughter and she did my laces up like I was a little schoolboy who hadn't learned to do his shoe laces up.

But I'm not going to bore you anymore. My back is still bad. I'm still getting straightened out every now and then.

And it's painful

I can now empathize with those who suffer from chronic back pain.

See ya

Terry

Listening or hearing

Hi People

Did you notice that you can listen to the music I have written and recorded for your pleasure. Well I don't sing on them but Sharon Engel and David Mardisich do. Just click on the link on the title page up the top of this whole thing. I hope you enjoy it.

I haven't tended to my Blog since I don't when "I'm stuck in Folsom prison and time keep rollin' on". Sorry about that I just started typing then those words popped into my head. They must have been hiding in their for a long time because I used to play that song in my early days of playing in a band.

Anyway here I am (Woops nearly broke into a song again)

I'm here and ready to share with you some of my thoughts on.... ... Taaa taaa taaa

"Listening or Hearing"

I was on facebook this morning and I did one of those silly test that one tends to do when on facebook. It was one about "What Beatles song are you. When you answer all the questions it tells you what Beatles song you are. Then it goes on to tell you what kind of person you are, I don't believe it usually but this one said that "I rely on religion". Well that got me thinking and I realized that I don't rely on religion. I used to rely on Christianity.

Do I rely on Christianity now. Well the answer to that is No. Let me hear a Politician say that.

If you have been reading my blogs then you will know that I ask a lot of questions and I expect answers. You will know that I have moved away from my early beliefs into something quite different.

Well nothing has changed. I still ask questions.

I have added to my repert... report... List of things that I do. I have taken to doing what Sienfeld says he does in his stand up comedy routine. Now don't get me started on the comedy of Sienfeld. He has redefined comedy. His definition of comedy is that it's not funny.

Anyway I digress. Sienfeld says he does observational comedy. In other words he observes people and situations and then he presents it as comedy. I don't think he's funny but a lot of people do so....

I've taken to observing what religious people say. It is my opinion (remember the title of my blog? These are only my opinions) that religious (and a lot of nonreligious) people don't listen to what they are saying nor are they listening to what their preachers, priests, ministers etc. are saying either. How do I know this? Because I've been there.

So what do I mean?

Every Sunday or Saturday morning if you are an Adventist. And every Wednesday or Thursday evening you will see congregations of people listening intently to what the person at the front of the room is telling them. But are they listening? I say No! Yes they are listening but NO! they are not hearing. They may be able to quote everything that the person down the front had said but that doesn't mean they heard him or her. I believe there is a difference between listening and hearing. My Funk and Wagnalls' defines listening as 1 To make conscious use of the sense of hearing; be attentive in order to hear. then it defines hear as to perceive by means of the ear. I wonder what perceive means; Perceive means; to become aware of something through the senses such as hearing.... Too many times I've seen congregations fall apart or go along a path that they didn't want to walk because they listened but they did not hear.

We all need to learn to ask. What's behind the words. How many of us have heard the politician speak to us and we know that they are saying all the right things but we also know that they are not telling us something. And if you listen carefully you can read between the lines. They don't want us to know so they don't actually lie they just weave the truth or forget to tell us that bit. When you are buying a car and you ask the salesman. "Has it been in an accident"? If the Salesman says "no, not an accident" then you might ask him another question such as well if it wasn't an accident what would you call it. Then you have him on the ropes.

We do it everyday all day without knowing that we do it. We check things when they don't ring true Yet when it comes to religion we suspend our natural instinct for hearing the truth and we believe anything. That may be a little harsh but I'm going to share with you some things that may make you listen to the man/woman down the front in a different way I hope as they tell you what they want you to know this week.

This is what I've learned since I started listening,. I'm not sure whether to dot point it or not. So I'll just start and see what happens.

A good friend of mine believes prayer works in healing people. Yet the record shows that he has never seen any one healed in the nearly thirty five years that I've known him. He has prayed for me constantly for the last sixteen years for God to heal the Parkinsons Syndrome that I have. I still have Parkinsons'. He has been praying for a revival for about ten years and still no revival and still he continues on. Let's look at this in a different light for a minute. Let's swap God for a Doctor.

A very powerful Doctor who had the power to heal immediately, has come to Adelaide. Let's say that my friend went up to him during one of his very successful book signing tours and said to him. "I have a friend who has believed in your power to heal him as I have done for the last thirty-five years but for the last sixteen years he has had Parkinsons' please will you heal him?" The Doctor turns away from him and continues to sign books and ignores him. How long will my good friend stand near this Doctor who ignores him. How long would you stand there?

Ok that might be one incident. But what if he said to the Doctor. "I know that you do great things because I read one of your books which said you can do great things. I have another friend who is sick please heal her" And once again the Doctor doesn't acknowledge him. Then others start saying "Yes I have been asking this Doctor to heal me and my family and he doesn't even answer us. I have never seen him heal anyone although I have heard people say that he helped them find a band-aid in a cupboard when they cut their finger. So he must be great." How long would you keep asking the Doctor before 1. You realized that he was a fraud and couldn't do the things he claimed he could or 2. Realized that you had made a mistake when reading the book?

I suppose you might last a week and then you would slowly drift away.

Why then do we insist on saying God will do it in his own time at his own rate. If it's his will?

That my friend is not a God of love or of compassion. It isn't the God that I read of in the Bible. Didn't Jesus say that God is the loving Father?

What kind of father would you be if you had the power to heal your son and / or daughter but you made your sons and daughters wait for years while you took your time to heal them. And that was if you felt like it. Don't you think it's time we stopped making excuses for God? God doesn't need us to make excuses he wants us to listen I believe he is shouting at us to take our blinkers off and see the truth.

God put man on this earth to look after it. Not to run to him every time we want something. He set the world in motion. He set the natural laws in motion..

Ok that's enough for today. Why don't you check in again for more exciting tales of those who

"listen and those who hear"

If you want to comment then please do.

Terry